Author Archives: The Matt Walsh Blog

This woman exercised her right to abort her infants, and now she’s being unjustly persecuted

Someone get this printed on a t-shirt: “Free Megan Huntsman!” Slap it on a bumper sticker. Start the campaign. Megan Huntsman — every bit the same sort of feminist hero as Planned Parenthood CEO Cecile Richards or Abortion Martyr George Tiller – … Continue reading

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If there is a competition over who’s busiest and most important, I lose. Here is my concession speech.

Alright, I won’t rehash what I wrote yesterday. I entered into the octagon and found myself in a Parenting Death Match. The “who has it harder, whose job is tougher, who’s busier, who’s more important, who sleeps less, eats less, … Continue reading

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Motherhood isn’t tougher than fatherhood, but maybe we should all stop competing

I have to admit upfront that I have developed an immunity to ‘tearjerker’ viral ads. You see, I fell into a vat of Hallmark Cards and maple syrup when I was a child, and emerged from that scarring incident completely impervious to … Continue reading

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Three things that all of you serfs and peasants shouldn’t say on Tax Day

I recently took to Twitter to vent my righteous rage at the proliferation of list articles. You know, list articles: the crutch used by many a lazy blogger who’d rather write in short, choppy, numbered sentences instead of full paragraphs, because full paragraphs … Continue reading

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Here’s what happened to that money I asked you to give

A quick note to the readers of this blog who, a few months ago, donated around 17,000 dollars to help my brother and the others on his mission trip provide medicine and clean water to a poor town in Guatemala. … Continue reading

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I don’t respect the president or his office, and neither should you

Of all the flaccid refrains constantly shrieked by the hordes of Statist sycophants, the worst is probably this: “Even if you don’t respect Obama, you should still respect the office!” Respect ‘the office,’ they say. Definition of respect: to hold … Continue reading

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Good news, fellas! Only women are required to be modest, apparently.

I feel scandalized. I was scrolling my Facebook newsfeed (there’s my first mistake) and suddenly my eyes were viciously assaulted by immodest and improper images that had been posted by someone clearly begging for attention; some shameless floozy selfishly attempting to enflame lust and covetousness in the … Continue reading

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Thank God for the gender wage gap

It’s Equal Pay Day, everyone! As per tradition, progressives mark the occasion by using fabricated numbers to drive a destructive narrative of division and faux-victimhood. In other words, Equal Pay Day is just like any other day, except with more … Continue reading

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Jesus didn’t care about being nice or tolerant

There is no shortage of heresies these days. If you want to adopt some blasphemous, perverted, fun house mirror reflection of Christianity, you will find a veritable buffet of options. You can sift through all the variants and build your … Continue reading

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Hey gay rights militants: your fascism is showing

Dear gay rights militants, dear progressive tyrants, dear liberal fascists, dear haters of free speech, dear crusaders for ideological conformity, dear left wing bullies: You will lose. I know you’ve got legions of sycophants kowtowing to you these days, and … Continue reading

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