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First things first: You can’t rage against “the man,” or complain about “the system,” or pretend to be a “free thinker,” or fashion yourself a rebel, if you are proponent of, or a participant in, the Welfare State. The government coerces people into sacrificing their liberty and independence as they grovel at the feet of the powers that be, begging for a spot at the public trough. This is is not the sort of thing which any self respecting revolutionary or libertarian can abide. Neither can any constitutionalist or freedom lover. You can Occupy Wherever and shout about the “elites,” but who the hell do you think runs the welfare system? And why do you think they run it? The government that lies and kills and maims and conspires to seize power and wealth, also wants nothing more than to hold the poor and disenfranchised close to it’s bosom in a loving embrace? Is that what we’re supposed to believe?

This is the thing that immediately jumped out at me when I saw the Fox News special profiling the California surfer food stamp recipient. While exploring the exploding food stamp rolls they highlighted the interesting case of this one particular west coast EBT enthusiast. He’s 29 years old, he doesn’t have a job, he surfs all day, drinks all night, hangs with his buddies, and eats on the taxpayer’s dime. Oh, and he’s not dining on generic peanut butter and pre-packaged lunch meat — he’s munching on lobster and sushi and shrimp. I’ve never purchased lobster. I’ve never even had brand name cereal. But then again, I have an incentive to be frugal. It’s my own money I’m spending. This guy is a parasite on the Magical Money Tree, why should he deny himself the finer things?

But I also couldn’t help but notice that this mangy surfer stereotype also apparently sings for a punk band. That brings me back to my initial point. Before I ask what’s happened to America, I’d like to know what the hell has happened to punk music if this leech is accepted on the scene? You can’t very well be an advocate for entitlements AND anarchy, can you? Burn the system! Wait, but don’t burn the part of the System that buys me food. Burn, like, most of the System but leave a sliver of it so that I can still get free stuff. Just a sliver of System, that’s all. Yeah! Anarchy! Look at the Misfits sticker on my backpack! Hardcore, bro!

Our politicians will clamor on about “reforms” to the entitlement system. Of course, “reform” is just code for “add more bureaucracy to a bureaucracy to solve the problems created by bureaucracies.” Actual reformation to the Welfare State should be a deformation of the Welfare State. A destruction. A demolition. You can not have liberty in a country where billions of dollars are stolen from those who earned it and given to those who did not. Entitlement programs pervert the electoral process. They subvert and corrupt our cultural values. They can not be defended because there is no way that you can ever make a sound moral argument as to why food should be taken from my children’s mouths and given to you. You have no right to take from me by force. Period. End of story. That’s it. Sorry.

I’m aware that detoxing America from the poison of dependence will take time. We can’t do it overnight. There needs to be a process. So allow me to suggest the first step: First, we must acknowledge that Surfer Dude in California is not an aberration. He’s not a side effect. He’s the entire point. Our government wishes to create monstrosities like him, and they have succeeded many times over. For every sympathy-inducing single mother on welfare and food stamps, there’s a young, able bodied, physically capable man with no dependents leeching off the taxpayers simply because he lacks integrity and character. And that’s my first step in reforming entitlements. Immediately remove every single, physically capable, healthy man with no dependents. Single healthy guys with no kids should not be taking even one damned cent from women and men with kids and bills and houses and responsibilities. Not one cent. These guys can go anywhere, they have nothing tying them down. They have nobody depending on them. They can do whatever needs to be done to survive, and they should be required to do just that. I did it. I lived in a roach infested apartment with no cable and no air conditioning. I worked three jobs at a time to pay the bills. Millions of men have gone through much worse. Why should anyone be exempt?

There’s a great value to teaching men — forcing them — to learn to be independent, to develop survival skills, to figure out how to provide rather than waiting to be provided for. We are manufacturing legions of infantile males who aren’t prepared to be husbands, fathers, men. Maybe that’s because society never gives these dudes any tough love. We never require them to strive and sweat and go a little hungry from time to time.

How well has that worked out, America?

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