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There are two gay marriage cases in front of the Supreme Court this week. From an entertainment perspective, this issue really delivers. It tends to entice both sides to embarrass themselves.

The left humiliates itself by making completely absurd comparisons between the effort to legalize gay marriage and the fight to abolish slavery and segregation. This is an argument so stupid and offensive that I won’t waste time refuting it. Liberals tend to have a drastically inflated sense of self, and far be for me to run around bursting their bubbles. You want to equate yourself to Harriet Tubman and Dr. King? Have at it. What can I do, really, but sit in utter admiration of your heroism? Taking a position supported by the president, Hollywood, academia, billion dollar lobbyist groups, and most major corporations? Yeah. Now that’s EXACTLY like running an Underground Railroad and standing up against people who can legally lynch you in the street without fear of repercussion.

The right, however, takes a turn on the Ridiculous Train by allowing many of the mouthpieces for the “sanctity of marriage” to be adulterers, bigamists and thrice divorced media personalities. I, personally, believe strongly in the sanctity — the sacredness — of marriage. It is the context in which strong families are born, and the institution of the family is the foundation of civilization. Most people get married in religious ceremonies where they vow BEFORE GOD that they will stand by their spouse FOREVER. This is a bond that literally CAN’T be broken. A spiritual link is forged and no man can break it. Period. Yet, the divorce rate in this country is the 6th highest in the world. A new couple has, statistically speaking, about a 50 percent chance of success. When you start looking at third and fourth “marriages”, the divorce rate approaches 80 percent. And that says nothing of those who have children and never marry. In the black community, 70 percent of kids are born to fatherless homes. SEVENTY FREAKING PERCENT. The percentage among whites is rising rapidly as well.

So, sanctity of marriage, you say? The institution is crumbling beneath us and it ain’t due to Perez Hilton. We abandoned marriage in this country when we decided to make divorce as common as flat tires. Divorce is the real threat to marriage. Nothing else even approaches it. Millions of “young adults” have just about given up on the idea because they’ve grown up in communities where nearly every household had a step dad and a healthy dose of emotional anarchy. Anecdotally, I can tell you, as a kid, I felt weird that my parents WEREN’T divorced. I’m thankful, obviously, but the point is that we were a rarity. And increasingly so. I can tell you this: walk into an Olive Garden with 5 siblings, all biologically related, and two parents, both still on their first marriage, and from the way people stare at you, you might as well have paraded in on stilts, juggling ostrich eggs.

This isn’t good, people. In tact families shouldn’t be like something out of a Ripley’s museum. We are a nation of polygamists. At least the Mormons used to have all their wives at once. We think we’re more enlightened because we marry three different women in succession, rather than at the same time? Bull crap. We should at least be intellectually honest about this.

If we want to restore marriage we have to do it by attacking divorce and fatherless homes. That’s the hole in the ship that’s about to sink us all. I say we start there.