Ok everyone, please turn to Scandal of the Week # 3 in your programs. We have to hurry up and get appropriately outraged about this because we likely only have about 12 to 14 minutes before the next example of widespread government corruption and deceit requires our attention and indignation.
So today we find out that the Department of Justice secretly monitored the telephone communications of the Associated Press, and unconstitutionally obtained their phone records without a warrant. How bad have things gotten when the government can illegally spy on a major media outlet, and that’s only the third worst thing they’ve done in the last few days? I think we need to start naming these scandals like we name hurricanes, just so we can keep track of them. The problem is that they should all really be named “Barry”, seeing as he’s the common denominator here. Just to recap the last six days: Obama’s IRS is targeting his political opponents for audits, his DOJ is spying on the media, and his State Department is arming terrorists overseas and getting his ambassadors killed and then lying about it. Oh, but he’s got nothing to do with any of this at all. Ever. Which, if true, makes him an utterly incompetent leader. It’s sort of like if you’re the manager of the local Wendy’s and all of your employees spend most of the day behind the store smoking crack. This means that you either: A) Know about it and are therefore at least tacitly involved or B ) Don’t know about it, which makes you an oblivious, ineffectual fool, who’s also a supremely awful judge of character or C) You’re just as big a crackhead as they are. Or, I suppose, D) Some combination of the previous three. No matter what, the conclusion is the same. You need to be fired. Immediately.
So which is it, Barry? A, B, C, or D?
And please don’t tell me that “all presidents do this stuff.” Yes, we have had many corrupt presidents, but that doesn’t mitigate the corruption of the current one. We need to stop obfuscating these crimes by bringing up other examples of past crimes that are, at best, irrelevant, but often quite dissimilar. In any case, it doesn’t matter now. We have to deal with the PRESENT problems. These scandals have actual real, live people behind them. These tyrants have names. These oppressions come to us via oppressors. If your employee is caught stealing from the cash register, are you going to let him off the hook simply because an employee several years ago came to work late a lot? No, because that makes no sense. Unless you’re that Wendy’s manager I mentioned earlier.
This stuff isn’t political for me. It’s personal. I’m tired of having my country run into the ground by these petty despots. It’s time we start holding the people at the top responsible.