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Some players in the NFL have been suspended for using an illegal performance enhancing drug. The drug in this case is Adderall. You may also know Adderall as the prescription pill given to adolescent children to make them more cooperative in school.

So here are the questions everyone should be asking but nobody is: if it’s cheating to use the drug to enhance your performance on the football field, why isn’t it cheating to use it to enhance your performance in the classroom? And if the substance is deemed too dangerous for 250 pound athletes, why do we consider it safe for 12 year olds? Why do we applaud a kid who graduates high school with the help of performance enhancing substances and then demand criminal convictions of athletes who win championships with the help of performance enhancing substances? 

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America, you seriously need to get your story straight when it comes to this whole drug thing. You say medicinal marijuana should be illegal but then you go out and get a prescription for opium every time you twist your ankle. You say nobody should use drugs to get high but then you stock your medicine cabinet full of prescription hallucinogens and uppers and pop a few every time you feel a little gloomy. You say it’s not fair to use drugs that “enhance performance” but then you put your child on mental steroids and brag to your friends about how he’s all the sudden magically doing better than his classmates. Hell, you might even sermonize about how nobody should take shortcuts right before washing down some FDA approved speed “diet pills”. 

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I don’t know why I bother pointing these things out. I realize the drug laws are simply in place to raise revenue for the state and create jobs for law enforcement. I also realize that there are millions of drug addled pill popping addicts in this country who will still, with a straight face, call themselves “anti-drug”. That’s just the way it is. Inconsistency and hypocrisy doesn’t bother most people. The fact that their world view is half-baked and totally arbitrary also doesn’t bother them. 

It all makes me feel kind of depressed. Good thing I can go to the doctor and get some legal LSD to take care of that.

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