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“OMG, he’s hot! Let’s hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control. My health insurance covers the pill, which means all I have to worry about is getting him between the covers.”

That’s how the liberal group ProgressNow has decided to market Obamacare to Millennials. They’re also the group responsible for the infamous “brosurance” ads, depicting, for some reason, a frat bro doing a keg stand. Because when I think keg stands and frat parties, I think health care policy.

So, trying to sell health insurance to young women by promising it will better enable them to sleep around? Absurd. Offensive. Demeaning. Degrading. Hideous.

Also, YAWN.

Boring.

This ad has prompted a lot of outrage from conservative circles, and rightly so. The people responsible for it are disgusting, condescending pigs. It offends the intelligence and moral sensibility of any decent, rational adult. But I think it’s time to point out something else about progressive propaganda and progressive ideology: it’s all so very tired.

Worn.

Crusty.

Lame.

Redundant.

Dull.

Tedious.

There’s nothing new here. Nothing fresh. Nothing revolutionary.

The sexual “liberators” and counter-culturists of the 1960s stopped protesting the Man because they became the Man, and they’ve since worked to intravenously inject their hedonistic garbage into the bloodstream of society, through avenues like the university system, Hollywood, the media, and government. While they once eschewed the status quo, they now are the status quo; it’s been that way for decades. But they still proselytize by pretending they’re peddling something new and hip.

They aren’t.

Progressivism is as new as color TV and about as hip as your dad’s sneakers.

“Hey young folks: go have sex with everyone! It’s super cool!” Yeah, we get it. As Chesterton might say, that idea has been tried and found wanting. It’s been tried for 40 years. We’ve got a whole bunch of divorce, disease and depression to show for it.

Thanks for that, by the way.

Now these washed up “free love” crusaders are trying to pass the baton to a new generation: my generation. And, despite what you hear in the media, many of us are simply not interested in stale old mid-twentieth century liberalism. There’s a new counter culture. There’s a new rebel in town. We’re the ones who roll our eyes at that Obamacare advertisement. Neo-liberalism was your Aunt Barbara’s revolution. Defeating it is ours.

Sleeping around? Begging for free birth control? Self indulgence? Hedonism? That’s how our parents’ generation rolled (not all of them, certainly not my parents). Sure, plenty of young people buy into it, but most of them are simply apathetic. They don’t BELIEVE in it, they just absorb it like a moldy sponge because they’re too morally and intellectually lazy to develop any convictions of their own.

But don’t be fooled. There are a lot of us out here who reject liberal dogma and all of its tenets. That’s why the March For Life attracts HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of young people, while the pro-choice counter protesters are a small, sad, bitter, and much older bunch.

I wrote something last week about abstinence. It’s been interesting reading the responses. Particularly because the vast majority of the supportive emails I’ve received have either been from my peers, or from my grandmother’s peers. Most of the vitriolic “how dare you advocate abstinence!” nonsense has come from Baby Boomers. There is absolutely nothing surprising about any of that.

You see, monogamy, personal responsibility, “traditional” morality — these things are all right and good. And they’re also challenging and exciting; I think that’s an aspect of virtue that most people seem to miss when they’re coming up with a sales pitch for it. Hollywood can’t seem to write a compelling “good guy” character anymore, probably because it’s so easy to paint evil as something sexy and intriguing, and goodness as flat and one dimensional. But it isn’t. It’s dangerous and thrilling, especially nowadays. Evil, on the other hand, is utterly mundane. We fear the pain of Hell, as well we should, but what about the monotony of it?

This is where the opponents of progressivism often go wrong. A liberal group demeans women and speaks to them like they’re all just looking for cheap sex and a good time, and we, again, react by screaming: “HOW DARE YOU! I’VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A THING!”

Yes, you have. You’ve seen it a million times. And it’s archaic, outmoded, obsolete. The young women I know — my wife and my four sisters, primarily — are far too intelligent, interesting and dynamic to be at all engaged by such a message.

We consider it natural for the new generation to rebel against the old generation. This is largely a post-Industrial Revolution phenomenon; it isn’t natural, and it isn’t good. Usually.

But now is the time when the young can rebel against the old ways and end up closer to God and closer to Truth. The conservative end of the spectrum wonders how to recruit the youth in the ideological war against secular progressivism, not realizing that many of us do not need to be recruited. We’re already here; we’re young, we’re energetic, we’re ready to fight. We’re the people you come to when you want to take on The Establishment, and, in this era, The Establishment is Liberalism. The Old Way is casual sex and godlessness. The Man wants us to be a bunch of drunken, indulgent zombies.

So we rebel with monogamy, morality and the Bible. That’s our revolution.

Let the old rebels take theirs right to the retirement home. We don’t want it. It bores us. But thanks anyway.

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