You are born a man or a woman. You don’t get to choose.

Maybe I’m a jerk for picking such a provocative title, or maybe this country is doomed because an utterly self-evident statement of the obvious has become provocative.

Maybe both are true.

In any case,  I want to begin by telling you about a grown adult male who, last week, beat a woman to a bloody pulp in front of a cheering crowd. As he gloated about his physical dominance over this outmatched female, media outlets and advocacy groups hailed him as a pioneer.

In fact, beating up women is literally this dude’s job. His latest victim ended up with a concussion, a broken orbital socket, and several staples in her head. Yet, still, the man who stomps women and brags about it on Twitter, is, according to our progressive cultural ringleaders, a hero. A superhero.

I don’t know where he acquired his superpowers — maybe he was bitten by a radioactive NFL player, or maybe he’s just a shameless coward who loves attacking woman — but his noble endeavors put him in the lofty company of men like Ray Rice and Chris Brown.

Only, Rice, Brown, etc., were condemned for brutalizing girls, whereas this man is celebrated.

What gives?

How can this startling contrast be explained?

Well, our hero, Boyd Burton (alias “Fallon Fox”) went overseas and had his penis chopped off, then came back and became a “transgender female” MMA fighter.

Don’t you see? It’s OK for him to break a woman’s face because he likes to pretend he is one.

It’s that simple. Want to give a girl a concussion? Just slap on some lipstick, take a few hormone pills, and you’re good to go. Society won’t merely accept your behavior; it will sound the trumpets and roll out the red carpet for you. It will tell tales of your epic bravery and even hand you a coveted spot in the Gay and Lesbian Sports Hall of Fame.

Do you understand how this work? It’s cool to pound your fists into a woman’s cranium as long as you feel like a woman while you’re doing it.

That’s just good science.

Or “science,” as the case may be.

Welcome to contemporary America, my friends.

Sure, it should come as no surprise to anyone that progressive ‘gender theory’ is a perverse, morally bankrupt, backwards, maniacal force of destruction. You might even say that a man with breast implants fighting women in mixed martial arts matches is a rather minor symptom of the underlying cultural disease.

You might be right.

And you might say that our country is facing too many cataclysms to worry about liberals patting a ‘Transgender Woman’ on the back for clobbering a bunch of Real Women.

You might be right again.

I would caution you, however, that this has all gone beyond mere stupidity. We can’t sit on the sidelines and roll our eyes anymore while our nation becomes like a bad dream you’d have if you fell asleep during a gender studies class. Yes, we should deal with ISIS and illegal immigration and the economy and politics and all the rest of it, but sooner or later, sane, rational, clear thinking individuals have to wake up and smell the radical psychosexual indoctrination. It isn’t blowing up buildings or taking your job, but it’s eating away at the intellectual and moral fabric of our society. It’s driving people insane and blinding us to the basic realities of human nature.

We have to understand that no existential threat matters if our civilization collapses in on itself before one of those distant boogeymen gets the pleasure of annihilating it. I often feel like we are perched on the precipice of a giant black hole, and as we dissolve rapidly into it, the sentries scream from their towers that an asteroid is heading this way and it could kill everyone sometime around the year 2067.

The point is, millions of Americans have lost their grip on reality. This is the real crisis, and it’s far more urgent than most of what they’re talking about on the news right now. What were once the fringe ramblings of leftist feminists and homosexual militants are now mainstream doctrines.

Men can be women, women can be men, up can be down, down can be up, and we are all little gods who bend the laws of biology and physics to suit our desires.

Emotion reigns supreme. Our feelings have the power to shift the cosmos and turn what is into what isn’t and what isn’t into what is.

On that note, Mr. Burton’s escapades pale in comparison to the Kentucky couple who recently announced their plan to tell their kids that mom used to be dad and dad used to be mom.

And they are possibly one-upped by the ‘man’ who insists on breastfeeding his newborn, while still retaining the title of man. Trevor McDonald ‘transitioned’ from a female into a male (a statement that makes as much sense as saying a tree transitioned into a toad), but then, as a ‘man,’ she got pregnant.  So she, who is a he, gave birth and she, who swears she’s not a she, decided she/he wanted to be a coach for La Leche League, a group for breastfeeding women.

La Leche League initially rejected her request, or his request, or the request of said entity. The organization has long held a ban on male coaches, mostly because that’s just a policy that couldn’t possibly make any more sense. The group treated Trevor precisely as she wanted; it treated her like a man.

But that wasn’t going to fly, was it? This is America, and in America we have the right to simultaneously be what we aren’t and what we are whenever we want, to whatever degree we want, and everyone else must dance to whatever rhythm we happen to be playing at any given moment. ‘He’ promptly went running to various civil rights groups, and eventually La Leche League did what everyone does in these situations.

Suddenly, in a moment of triumph for male breastfeeders everywhere, they declared a policy change. Men can now teach women how to breastfeed, and women who aren’t comfortable with it just need to check their white cisgendered privilege.

This story sparked reporting from actual news agencies who actually published sentences like this:

Last month, after more than a year of internal review, La Leche League International quietly expunged the gendered language from its leadership requirements and now acknowledges that men can, in fact, breastfeed.

And they quoted the spokeswoman of La Leche League, Diana West, who actually said this:

It was thought that only women could breastfeed. Once it became clear it wasn’t as straightforward as that, the policy had to change.

Except it is that straightforward, Diana. Nothing could be more straightforward. By no medical or scientific definition of the terms could a man ever breastfeed. If he is, then he isn’t a he.

Progressives will thump their chests and shout “SCIENCE!” when the subject turns to global warming or evolution, but in the next breath they spin impossible yarns about lactating men and testicular women.

If you question it, they’ll just smirk and smugly tell you to “do your research.”

Do my research to find out whether a man can be a man and still give birth and provide breast milk to an infant? RESEARCH? No, no I certainly will not. I won’t research to find out if men can have babies, for the same reason that I won’t research what sound a horsie makes or how many cookies I’ll have if my mommy gives me two when I already had three.

I studied these topics quite extensively in preschool. The lessons are  fresh in my mind.

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