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War against Syria? Sure! Let’s do it! I’m game. I think it sounds like a great idea, personally. Or, it WOULD be a great idea if:

-IF we wouldn’t be fighting for, and alongside, Al Qaeda militants and Muslim Brotherhood goons who have, themselves, killed, raped, and tortured thousands of innocent civilians.

-And IF we wouldn’t be risking American lives to help this rape-promoting guy.

-And this cannibal guy.

-And these Christian-killing dudes.

-And these child murderers.

-And IF religious minorities in Syria weren’t backing the Syrian government because they’re terrified about what the rebel factions will do to them once they control the entire country.

-And IF our recent involvement in Egypt and Libya hadn’t already proven to be an unmitigated disaster.

-And IF I didn’t throw up in my mouth every time a government official tells us about the “War on Terror,” right before lobbying for a military intervention in service of the very terrorists we’re supposedly fighting.

-And IF the “chemical weapons” propaganda wasn’t based on the dubious claims of bureaucrats who lie for a living.

-And IF there didn’t exist credible evidence that the “rebels” actually launched the chemical attack after being provided the weaponry by the Saudis.

-And IF the whole “chemical weapons red line” wasn’t an arbitrary excuse to launch another war, absurdly making the murder of thousands somehow “worse” if they were killed viciously, by chemicals, rather than kindly, by bullets and non-chemical explosives.

-And IF the government’s “evidence” that the Syrian regime launched chemical weapons didn’t rest on the fact that Syrian military members were given gas masks, a precaution any modern military force would take.

-And IF it wasn’t impossible to take our president seriously when he decries the “murder of civilians” while overseeing drone attacks on Pakistani villages that have resulted in the deaths of scores of non-combatants.

-And IF the idea of a “humanitarian” bombing campaign wasn’t a grotesque and ridiculous joke.

-And IF this president wasn’t betraying literally every single thing he said about war before he took office.

-And IF history hadn’t already demonstrated the foolishness and folly of taking sides in a civil war between two murderous factions.

-And IF the president and his lackeys weren’t now relying on the reports of the intelligence community whose reliability they once questioned.

-And IF intervention wasn’t passionately and widely opposed by the American people and our most important international ally.

-And IF any of this had anything at all to do with keeping America safe, which is, you know, sort of the whole point of our military.

So, I guess that’s a really long way of saying, no, we definitely, certainly, without a doubt shouldn’t attack Syria. There isn’t a single good, truthful, rational, prudent argument in support of it. But that won’t stop us.

It never does.