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In ancient times, the Greeks would choose an old woman from a village, take her to Delphi, get her hopped on hallucinogens, throw some robes on her, label her an “oracle” and every time she had a bad trip they’d call it a prophesy and base their most important decisions on whatever nonsense she rambled about.

So, operating on the whim of an intoxicated, elderly, illiterate hippy? Perhaps not the best system. But are we in any position to judge?

I’ve been reading, and listening to, with great sadness, the hype surrounding the Supreme Court’s “decision” on gay marriage. What happened to us, America? We wait at the giant stone steps for nine robed figures to emerge and pass their judgement upon mankind. We grovel at their feet and beg them to validate our views. We act like their “rulings” can somehow re-calibrate the Moral Compass, alter metaphysical realities, turn right wrong and wrong right. When it comes to this issue or any other, whatever you believe the truth to be, you ought to still believe it regardless of what the Oracles in Black have to say. Do I need to run down a list of examples of the “Supreme Court” making deranged and psychotic decisions? If something is wrong, it’s still wrong even if the Supreme court calls it right. If something is right, it’s still right even if the Supreme Court calls it wrong. Honestly, I really don’t think a supposedly “free” country should have any governmental positions that come with the label “Supreme”. The Supremes have some great Motown songs, and I like supreme pizzas (minus the mushrooms, I’m a human not an insect — I don’t eat fungus), but I’m just not comfortable with having supreme PEOPLE on the public payroll. “The Supreme Court” sounds like something that should have died with the Coliseum. I understand, ideally, that we need a judicial branch of government. But, much like the executive, I can’t figure out what power these people DON’T possess at this point. Does any human on the planet have ANY confidence in the Supreme Court’s ability to make just and judicious decisions? The answer, of course, is no. Which leads to the greater problem. We all have zero confidence in them, we all believe the system to be broken and corrupt, yet we still attempt to use this broken and corrupt system to our advantage. And if it works out and the other side cries, “BUT THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN AND CORRUPT”, we’ll muster our best counterargument and respond, “YEAH, EXCEPT FOR THIS TIME!”

We wait for these rulings like we’re waiting for Lord Xenadoodle — or whatever the Scientologists call him — to come back in his space ship and impart the secrets of the galaxy. Or even worse, we watch as if Michelle Obama is about to open the red envelope and tell us who won the Academy Award for Best Picture. We are helplessly out of whack, America.