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I don’t really care to give tips to the Republican Party, the supposedly “small government” organization that has, interestingly enough, only ever produced one actual small government president. They’ve worked so hard to undermine and contradict themselves and their alleged ideological goals for so long that I wouldn’t want to suddenly stand in the way of their march into oblivion. Not now. Not when they’ve come so far and are so very close.

That said, I’m going to quickly give them a little unsolicited advice anyway. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s middle child syndrome. Deep down I just love saying things that I know will be ignored. Whatever the reason, here it is:

First, do yourselves a favor, kick John McCain out on his ass and never pay any attention to that blithering dolt ever again. Same for Lindsey Graham and every other neo-con idiot like them. McCain called Rand’s stand a “stunt” meant to “fire up impressionable Libertarian kids”. As opposed to everything the Republican establishment does, which are always stunts meant to confuse oblivious Baby Boomers. McCain is as old as Moses — even though Moses didn’t believe in government tyranny, unlike McCain. He hasn’t said or done anything worthwhile in over four decades. Four decades, by the way, which he’s spent in public office. He represents everything that is wrong with modern American government. He’s a crooked fool, an elitist snob and a moral coward. I’m tired of him and everybody like him. These self-styled feudal lords need to be taught a lesson about talking down to their bosses in the electorate. I mean, really, Republicans, you can’t understand why you struggle with the youth vote while you’ve got 100 year old fascists on TV yelling at them to get off the lawn?

Purge the neo-cons from your midst. Nobody wants to hear it anymore. There’s no audience for it. Nobody’s buying it. Well, Liberals are buying it now because they’ll gobble up anything their Cult Leader puts in the Kool-Aid. But real human beings, with actual brains, are simply not that into it.

Second, the Democrat Party and its loyalists have long since betrayed themselves as unprincipled cultists. While Rand Paul spoke out against Executive assassinations of Americans, only one Democrat stood with him. And he was there to argue about it. Democratic voters are frauds and shape-shifters who contort their “belief system” to fit with the whims of their political leadership. Obama has shown himself to be a corporatist shill for the military industrialist complex, an enemy of the working man, and a passionate opponent of civil liberties. And those who continue to support him only do so for the same reason the Heaven’s Gate whackos committed mass suicide. Either that, or they open their hearts to him for the same reason baby birds open their beaks for their momma. The point is, you could actually BE not only what YOU pretend to be, but also a lot of what Democrats pretend to be. The market is wide open.

Why do you think Rand dominated social media for an entire day? Why did he get props not only from small government conservatives like myself, but also from the likes of the Huffington Post, Code Pink, Van Jones and Jon Stewart? When was the last time anyone has ever formed a coalition like that? And he did it not by sucking up or compromising. Precisely the opposite, in fact. For so long Republicans have tried to win votes by supporting entitlements and talking about their binders full of women. But it doesn’t work. If I want Socialism and Feminism I’ll go where I can get it pure, from the Democrats. You don’t beat your ideological opponents by trying to offer a knock-off version of what they’re already producing. You sell something they don’t have in stock, and let the customers come to you.