An apology letter to Mr. Obama

Dear President Obama,

I’m reaching out to you as a friend. I know you must be deeply hurting after what happened at the Missouri State Fair. Sure, you probably try to avoid watching the news while you’re on vacation, but I’m sure the pilot who airlifted your dog to your rental mansion in Martha’s Vineyard probably caught you up to speed (that guy is such a chatterbox). Your jaw must have hit the floor when you heard the news: A rodeo clown in Missouri poked fun at you. Yeah, I know, almost impossible to believe. The gall! The gumption! The racism! Don’t worry, the entire country erupted in outrage, Democrats and Republicans issued statements of condemnation, and now the offending clown has been banned for life from the Missouri State Fair. There will likely be “action taken” against the Missouri Rodeo Clown Association, and I do hope justice is visited upon them swiftly. I think we’re all a little sick of the Missouri Rodeo Clown Association causing trouble. It’s something new every week with those freakin’ guys.

But all of this is of no consolation. The fact is, a rodeo clown in Missouri made fun of you. Nothing can ever ease the pain he has caused. This sort of crass lampooning of public officials has never happened at a rodeo until now, and I know that because a bunch of people who have never been within 150 miles of a rodeo said so. And then — worse still — the crowd erupted in applause at the spectacle of a guy in an Obama mask being chased by a rampaging bull. Racists, the lot of ‘em! I mean, Bush never got this sort of treatment. Nobody ever mocked or satirized him. No crude jokes were told about him. Nobody ever wished violence or death upon him. Ever. You know why? Because he’s white. White presidents always get treated nicely, especially white Republicans. Just ask Lincoln. The whole country agreed for over two centuries that we don’t ever insult presidents, then you get into office and all of a sudden every day is Pick on the President Day. Outrageous!

Besides, you are due some respect. You’ve earned it. You’ve done nothing but serve these people and make their lives better, and this is how they treat you? Ungrateful brats. You should drone bomb these haters. Just kidding. But seriously, you should. You’re the first president in history to actually order the assassination of American citizens, and I say why stop with some Muslim propagandist and his completely innocent son who never committed any crime at all?

I’m especially sick of these punks in the middle class who won’t stop complaining about you. What’s their issue? OK, you haven’t done anything about the unemployment rate your whole time in office, median household incomes have dropped, fewer businesses are opening, the number of people in poverty has increased while the number of high paying jobs has decreased, all of this while taxes go up and Obamacare looms, threatening to strangle small business owners and put thousands more out of work, but so what? I’ve got two words: Food stamps. Or is it foodstamps? I don’t know, I can’t spell it, I can just use it to get my Lucky Charms and Dr. Pepper. You’ve made all of this “work” crap obsolete by increasing the entitlement state more than any president ever in history! You’re adding more than 11 thousand Americans a day to SNAP. You’ve got millions relying on the government for rent, cable, phone, even birth control. I guess this horrible economy stuff would be kind of a bummer if not for all the delicious welfare. Who needs an economy anymore? We’ve got you, baby.

So how could anyone be upset at you? How could they delight at the degradation and mockery of Barack Obama? What’s wrong with these right wing rednecks? Are they still sore about the whole thing where you sent the IRS after your political opponents to harass and hinder them during an election cycle? Or the stuff about spying on the phone records of every American? What about all this business about you arming and funding Islamic Militants overseas and then orchestrating a coverup when a bunch of them murdered your ambassador? Are folks STILL mad that you funneled weapons to drug cartels and then threatened whistleblowers into silence? Or is it all this fuss over your Justice Department spying on and attempting to prosecute journalists? Is it the wildly unpopular two thousand page health care law? The regulation mandating that religious employers provide abortifacients to their employees? The millions of tax dollars you’ve given to the abortion industry and the blessings you wished upon a group of wealthy abortionists? The bailouts? The green energy scams? The massive expansion of government? The out of control deficit spending? The lies? The broken promises? The betrayals? The corruption? The attacks on our fundamental liberties?

I can’t imagine why anyone would get too worked about any of that. Like you said, that stuff didn’t happen. Or it did, but it’s not a big deal. Or it’s not a big deal because it didn’t. I can’t remember, I just know that you treat anyone who raises any of these concerns with utter contempt and disregard, which clearly proves that they are wrong.

Mr. Obama, IF you WERE actually guilty of being a deceitful despot who murders, conspires, and steals, then obviously all true Americans would have no choice but to giggle with glee at the sight of your likeness being gouged by an angry bull. Fortunately, that isn’t the case, which is why I’d like to apologize for the state of Missouri, for everyone who has ever attended a state fair, and for everyone in the rodeo clown community.

You are special, Mr. President, and I still love you.

Yours eternally,

Matt Walsh

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1,310 Responses to An apology letter to Mr. Obama

  1. Timbo says:

    Charlotte….Are you that brain dead? Has drinking all the Kool-Aid destroyed your reasoning skills? Has the Kool-Aid caused your blindness and destroyed your hearing? Apparently because you refuse to see or hear what is actually going on in my country. Very simply….get the hell out of my country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Bob English says:

    Matt…no matter how often you repeat the story about Obama’s dog, its still not true…http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/bo.asp

    • Sharon S says:

      This does not address the trip in question.

    • Dave says:

      get a hobby, sycophant.

      • Bev says:

        It is true that the dogs flies on a separate flight than the Obamas. The dog always does. Just don’t believe everything Snopes publishes. The husband and wife team are lefties and will always lean left when possible. Check their sources before you decide what they say it the whole truth.

      • txladyrah says:

        When someone’s blog is not just opinionated, but outright & exposed lies, everything they say – even if true – is questionable. What a shame!

    • Ron says:

      I suppose the pix of Bo and the basketballs getting off the Osprey have all been photoshopped…

    • Debbie says:

      Bob English… all this was mentioned and your worried bout the damn dog… REALLY? Where is your sense of humor, that is if you have one? Everything else Matt mentioned is truth. This president just plain stinks to high heaven!

    • Jack says:

      Bob, using snopes again. Boy your a research god. Wikipedia too such reliable sources.

  3. Pingback: Fake Apology Letter to Obama (HILARIOUS!)… | emotelessthinkmore

  4. Dave Ki says:

    Wondering how many other State Rodeo’s will feature a similar act in a show of solidarity?Lots I hope.

  5. Gammy Sparkles says:

    CRAP I dont apologize, I dont Love Mr. Prez. Pretender in Chief – And I feel you Mr. Prez. and your minions should be in jail for treason to America! Holder, Clinton, O, Lies Leaks, Coverups, Deaths, Econ. Rape, and Nat. Security Neutering – IRS AP Rosen Scandals – Vote Fraud that will come out to be HUGE – Like all swing states! WOW No You get no apology from me. Bravo that CLOWN Brave 1RST Amendment! IMPEACH! EM ALL! Gammy Sparkles

    • Gilbert Reger says:

      I imagine you believe Bush Jr was a saint. You Foxaholics are hopeless.

      • Bev says:

        No one is saying that Bush was a saint, I don’t know any president that was but to compare Obama to any of our past presidents is a sure sign of stupidity and ignorance. Obama is not an American, doesn’t act like one, doesn’t even know our geography or how many states there are. He is not a religious man but when he stands by the side of any religion it is always Islam. Standing on the side of Islam makes him an enemy of ours not our president. Obama can serve as many terms as you stupid liberals want but he will never be my president and the US will always be Christian.

        • Drew A says:

          I 100% agree with you Bev. I couldn’t said it better. If anyone voted for Obummer should be hung for treason including Hillary dumb*ss.

      • Eric S. Harris says:

        So, as long as somebody’s better than G.W. Bush, they’re good enough to not merit criticism?

        Personally, I hold presidents to a higher standard than G.W. Bush.

        Or did I misunderstand you?

      • I will say it. IF Obama is a “Good President,” then Bush IS a saint.

        • Eric S. Harris says:

          Just about everything I disliked about George W. Bush, Obama does as much or more. And he’s added some new appalling behavior.

          So, I guess I agree. But it’s one huge lowering of the bar, to accept that “if”.

  6. pamala says:

    I agree with hammy sparks

  7. Scott says:

    Asshole.

  8. Matt you are such a kiss ass. The same thing happened to President Bush and we heard nothing from you or the Left on this

    • Drew A. says:

      Don’t you know Donald the Radical Socialist Obummer Free loaders don’t like it when the sorry excuse of the President is made fun of. They think there opinion are the only one. Wrong, look where the country is and the condition thanks to you bunch of Free loaders Obama D**k suckers. Hope you happy you bunch of retards when the crap hits the fan and you have no rights at all.

      • Michaela Hughes says:

        I love my rights, but keep your ugly talk to yourself and off the internet. I might lean left, but my thoughts are centered on the good of America. Give everyone the respect that you want from them, and we might work out as a united country. Oh, and remember that the separation of church and state is a good thing.

    • J J says:

      Donald, you need to take a course in reading comprehension. This blog is sarcasm at it’s best!

  9. Bev says:

    Number of States won by: Obama: 19 Romney: 29
    > Square miles of land won by: Obama: 580,000 Romney: 2,427,000
    > Population of counties won by: Obama: 127 million Romney: 143 million
    > Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Obama: 13.2 Romney: 2.1
    >
    > Professor Olson adds: “In aggregate, the map of the territory
    > Romney won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens
    > of the country.
    >
    > Obama territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in low
    > income tenements and living off various forms of government
    > welfare…”
    >
    > If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million
    > criminal invaders called illegals – and they vote – then we can say
    > goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

    • cyberguy64 says:

      I figured as much…

    • Sgt.K says:

      Bev,

      I would love to use these statistics. Can you cite where you got them?

    • Som says:

      Obama: 19
      Romney: 29
      I believe you’re missing a couple.

      • Robin Munn says:

        Nine, in fact. There should be a total of fifty-seven, don’chaknow.

      • Eric S. Harris says:

        I’m thinking you’ve drifted off-topic. Nobody wore a Romney mask at a rodeo.

        Despite temptation, I’ll refrain from saying more.

      • Michaela Hughes says:

        Please. Do not include the commonwealths.

        • Bev says:

          I have to say Michaela that you are missing few too. If what you say is true that we will never have another Republican in the WH then you will understand exactly what we have been saying because you suckers will be the first to fall. We have had to make it without government you on the other hand have been dependent on the government so when the time comes and the dependents are all that’s left you will fall. Welcome to Obamaland, land of the indentured slaves to the dictator.

    • Carolyn Brown says:

      I’ve already said goodby.

    • George and Margie Kern says:

      Bev you are right on target !

    • gregm91436 says:

      It’s bizarre, this new “square miles of land won by” argument conservatives keep bringing up like it matters. Alaska, Montana, and Wyoming are giant states, and Idaho and the Dakotas aren’t too far behind. But collectively they add up to only 19 electoral votes–the same as Massachusetts and Connecticut. “Population of counties won by”? How did you arrive at that statistic? Does that mean that if Mitt Romney ‘won’ a county (a meaningless unit when it comes to the Presidential election) 30,000 to 28,000, you counted that as 58,000 votes for Romney?

      Look, if you think that the electoral college should be reconfigured based on land mass, just come out and say so. The electoral college is determined by population. As it should be. The irrelevance of those two statistics undermines everything else in your argument.

    • Michaela Hughes says:

      Good Lord! What will the Right Wing think up next? Nothing overly useful, I suppose.

    • carol smith says:

      sorry, states carried- Obama 26 + D.C., Romney 24. Vote-65,915,79 for Obama, 60,933,500 for Romney
      Citation- Federal Elections Commission

  10. John Doe says:

    I can not figure out why Bush and Obama are not tried for their war crimes.

  11. Dorothy says:

    Obama is not a President, he is a dictator. Why bother getting congress involved in the changes the “3 Stooges, (Obama, Reed & Pelosi)” want for our country. Just go around Congress and the American People and do what they think is right for all of the poor, uneducated, everyday and obviously not up to their level citizens who put their Butts in office because they really do live in the “real” world and know what is best for us (even if we don’t). In all my years (and that’s quite a few) I have never seen our country in such a sad and utterly messed up state.

  12. ty spears says:

    Donald Lane Wingler, read this again!!! Matt was being sarcastic!!! Anyone with half a brain knows Obama and his cronies get away with everything and anything they want. While any republican is fair game to the mainstream press. Look at the shape our country is in and the Obamas took a safari at taxpayer expense for ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS!!! If the Bush family had done that, they would have been run out of the whitehouse on a rail!!!

    • rayraymcleod says:

      “Anyone with half a brain knows Obama and his cronies get away with everything and anything they want.”

      Anyone with half a brain probably doesn’t know much of anything, if they’re even conscious.

      “If the Bush family had done that, they would have been run out of the whitehouse on a rail!!!”

      Bush wanted to go on safari, but he didn’t trust Dick Cheney to be his sniper in case any of the animals tried to attack him (which almost certainly would have happened). No, but seriously, you’re right. Obama never should have spent that money to go to Africa on official U.S. business. He should have stayed at his ranch in Chicago and spent $800 billion on a war with Africa searching for WMD’s.

      • Bev says:

        Obama doesn’t have his ranch in Chicago anymore, they foreclosed on it a while ago. He and Mooshell are really homeless just like the Clintons were before they got to live in the big White House. Once you get to live in the big White House then you become rich enough to buy a house after. Now how do they get rich? Obama got rich of his sack of shit book and Clinton did by screwing people out of money. Just the normal stuff for Democrats.

  13. Dan says:

    Not another earmark! You missed one!

  14. dale kline says:

    Fuck you nigger lover and the worthless nigger in the white house who would rather take a vacation than solve the problems of their positions

    • Eric S. Harris says:

      Not helping.

      Unless you’re really an Obama supporter putting on an act. In which case, you’re not helping your side, much.

      Hard to tell with any certainty, but I’m thinking the latter. It’s laid on so thick, see?

    • Please keep this up as it just drive’s more nail’s into the GOP’S coffin….You will never see a REpub in the white house again…..keep up the good work.

      • Drew A says:

        I agree with Dale, Fawk Obama, and All the other Demo retarded, Liberal, Socialist dumbasses. And as far no Replubs, they are not much better. Get rid of the two party dictatorship. Get rid of all them and hang there bi*ch a8ses on the front of White House Lawn with Obama and Hillary First in Line for Treason. As far as I concerned you synbad Socialist retard are a traitor too. So go fawk yourself and I hear Obama coming you. He needs your b*tchass to ripe his butt you freeloader.

      • Michaela Hughes says:

        Oh, I don’t know… if its a MODERATE Republican like the New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie it mightn’t be so bad.

        • Eric S. Harris says:

          Christy is a dolt. He doesn’t see that allowing medical marijuana for seriously ill people is an obvious good thing.

          There’s also the absurdity of the alleged constitutional authorization for federal drug laws, but it’s completely unreasonable to expect a Republican or Democrat to recognize that.

    • Michaela Hughes says:

      Uncalled for! We live in an age of civility. If someone dislikes another person say it without offending everyone with your language.

    • rayraymcleod says:

      Someone woke up on the wrong side of his white hood this morning.

  15. Lacey says:

    I still really don’t understand what the big uproar was about. Although I do think Obama gets more shit than any other President, especially over really stupid shit, but to make a big deal about a goddamn rodeo clown poking fun in what was obviously a conservative town? That’s just dumb. Now I can see how people making displays dealing with lynching when he was re-elected in 2012 being a big deal, but a rodeo clown wearing a mask? It’s always been done. It was done with Bush and Hillary Clinton, and probably even Bill. Before that, I can’t tell you since I was too young to know anything about Bush Sr. and wasn’t born prior to that.

    And to the person who used “nigger” more times than needed (zero times would’ve been perfect)…is that really necessary? You’re just making yourself look bad.

    • Liz says:

      Rodeo is conservative no matter what town it is in. That is why I support the local rodeo every year.

      • Eric S. Harris says:

        It was not newsworthy, and it was treated like it was newsworthy. Therefore, something was up.

        Maybe the news people who decided what is “news” and what is just “stuff that happened to happen that isn’t news” are so ignorant of rodeos that they didn’t know it was ordinary. Possible — people in the news business are not normal people — but it seems unlikely.

        No, this was deliberate. It was something that makes Obama look like he’s being picked on. It was something where Obama wasn’t killing children. It had nothing to do with the IRS abuse of his political adversaries. It was something where Obama wasn’t violating the Constitution.

        In other words, a distraction. And that we are posting messages about this, suggests it worked for some people.

  16. oldmanrick says:

    Great sarcasm. However, you were too kind.

  17. Pingback: Apology Letter To The President | Confessions of a Jesus Freak

  18. jolena M says:

    There should only be ONE side to this argument. That is the side of WE THE PEOPLE; not the republicans or democrats, not any governmental ideal!! What is happening in America is wrong, We all know it is wrong so let’s just forget who we voted for and remember what AMERICA is supposed to stand for. I say screw all the red tape and pork belly! Let’s just go right back to the constitution. I’m pretty sure it will still work today!!! Jolena

    • Bev says:

      Sounds like voters remorse. If it is I hope more people have it.

    • Michaela Hughes says:

      Agreed! Although… if we go back to the original constitution, we would have no Bill of Rights. Or any of the amendments made since then. Original constitution or not, it needs the amendments in order to be true to the people.

      • Eric S. Harris says:

        What do you mean “original constitution”? What could that possibly mean, and why would that be a good thing?

        How about using the one we have now? Sure, it would mean dismantling about 90 to 95 percent of the federal government — but I don’t have problem with that.

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  20. George Kern says:

    Bev for President, Sarah Palin for VP

  21. Randy says:

    Mr Walsh, I am sorry that you have such a one-sided view of America and her politics. I don’t know anything about you other than what I read in your archive file. If you want to be considered a real satirist you must be able to view America, her citizens and her body politic as equally fair game. Much of your apology letter was real satire, but much was more a personal attach on “our” President. As you mature you may be able to see the difference. You are going to have to expand your research on matters of politics to include the right, which you seem to love, and the left, which you seem to hate. Maybe I’ll try again later to read some future post of yours, when you mature a little, but for now, I think this will do me for awhile.

    • Bev says:

      @Randy One correction to your statement, it is your president not ours. You are as bad as Obama in putting words into everyone’s mouths. I hate it when Obama says We Americans, the American people etc.. Everything Obama says is almost always just what we Americans don’t agree with so in the future include only yourself in your statements.

      • rayraymcleod says:

        Wow, Randy and Obama must be pretty talented to be able to put words directly into your mouth! It must be difficult having so many people put words into your mouth. How do you find room to eat?

        • Bev says:

          The reply I would have expected from a person with little intelligence. If this was an attempt at humor it failed. Keep practicing though you may even be funny some day.

    • Eric S. Harris says:

      Very patronizing. Very ineffective.

      Slightly sad.

      Paragraphs improve readability.

      • rayraymcleod says:

        Funny, I could read it just fine as it was written. But I’ll go ahead and write this reply in two different paragraphs so you can read it. I wouldn’t want there to be any confusion.

        Your reply wasn’t technically a paragraph since it wasn’t comprised of complete sentences. And Randy’s message probably WAS effective since it got you to reply to it and superficially attack it.

        • Eric S. Harris says:

          Congratulations. You must have more patience that I could muster at that time.

          I didn’t say it was unreadable, just that paragraphs improve readability.

          A paragraph can contain sentence fragments. Really.

          A superficial attack was more than enough.

        • Eric S. Harris says:

          Oops. (Not a complete sentence.) (Neither was that.) I allowed you to distract me from the main point of this: Obama is bad.

          His primary accomplishment is that he is worse than his predecessor. As nearly every president in recent decades was worse than his predecessor, this is not much of a distinction.

  22. Yeah, my family and I were homeless at one point and we busted our ass to make it and we finally have…we finally made it through blood sweat and tears… and we did it without any kind of “government assistance” So all the people who say they just cant make it, or can’t find a job, or whatever your excuse is, truth is you don’t give a damn and are just mad cause you cant get by being a lazy piece of shit. And I will say that there are people who truely need assistance because of a special situation, and I think if you go to school full time than you should be entitled to assistance, yet i know many people who have been told to quit school and get a crappy minimum wage job by the government agents…point is, anyone can make it, it wont be easy, but if you bust your ass you can do it as I had. Obama is a hypocritical piece of shit who cares about no one but himself and his Muslim brothers, everyone else is on their own and against the government. And since he has been in office, has almost single handily knocked us back into the stone ages and he probably will eventually. And the color of his skin has absolutely nothing to do with why people hate him so much, unless you are looking at the millions of people who voted for him ignorantly just because he is black, or half black or whatever. But in my opinion, he is just a puppet, it is the puppet master who is bringing us all down, question is, who is the puppet master……

  23. bruce jim says:

    If things go well, obama will get a early trip to hell!

  24. bruce jim says:

    I’m a native American and I’m ready for the next war. This supposed president is going to help it start and his scalp is mine.

  25. DelRioRoy says:

    Obama, you lie, and lie, and lie.
    According to the presidential campaign in 2008 obama had made promises that were swallowed hook, line, and sinker by enough to get him elected. In the not so final analysis obama hoodwinked the U.S.A. to the extant of it’s now unfolding demise – the left is still unaware this country is being financially depleted the obama way.
    Now, obama deserves any and all insults and criticism – even at a rodeo. Unfortunately he is so thin skinned he can’t take it – it’s pathetic.
    We watch as obama marches on with his brand of combined socialism, communism, and dictatorship while striving to drown the U.S.A. in as much debt as possible leading to bankruptcy.
    He, obama lied in 2008 and his lies has not stopped. Obama you lie and lied.

    Therefore, obama deserves any and all insults – even at a rodeo.

  26. rayraymcleod says:

    Great job, Matt! Although if you want to be as good as Rush Limbaugh someday, I suggest using fewer words and shorter sentences. That way you can really put the thoughts DIRECTLY into your readers’ heads without so much lag time.

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  28. Eric S. Harris says:

    Nice try. Bush was scum, too. It’s just that the many similarities between the two weren’t highlighted in Walsh’s blog post.

  29. Tyler B says:

    This is a childish letter, if u have an oppinion say it don’t be lame and hide behind sarcasim. A true man would stand up and say what he means not be a little boy with smart ass comments. Lastly, NO ONE knows about your stupid clown sittuation… use something more relivent next time, that way people can RELATE, and CONNECT with the story.

    Your clearly new.
    Good attempt. but you failed at what you tried to accoplish.

    • Eric S. Harris says:

      So, you’d rather hear in so many words that Obama is a murderous, lying, corrupt incompetent?

      OK. You got it. Obama is a murderous, lying, corrupt incompetent

      Some additional details available in the blog post.

      But there are plenty more elsewhere. The hunting is best in the foreign press, but you can find some gems in the US media as well, especially lately. He’s slowly losing supporters there, now and again, when the rationalizing becomes just too hard.

  30. Lyd says:

    Hey folks, I am gonna suggest spending a little more time on how we live our personal day to day lives and interactions with people we come across than worrying about who is in office. Likely three years from now, when a different man is in office, you will still not be happy or different. Lets work on that.

  31. Pingback: Government Not Allowed | An EPIC Apology Letter to Obama , Goes Viral Around the Web

  32. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same page
    layout and design. Great choice of colors!

  33. Aubryonna Remington says:

    I take it no one caught the sarcasm? Coulda been just me… But I’m a psych major so i guess it would. But then again i am a sarcastic hitch a lot. ..s so i could understand my native tongue. I do not like Obama personally but i found this hysterical since it was a sarcastic piece. …you may now crucify me for speaking myopinion.

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