I’ve got this crazy idea. It’s radical, I’m warning you, but if you can get past the initial shock I think you might see the wisdom in it:
What if we allowed individuals to make individual decisions in individual circumstances, based on the individual merits of the individuals involved? What if we stopped treating society like we’re all a bunch of wandering goats in need of herding? What if we didn’t sacrifice our rational capacities on the alter of mindless collectivism? Just imagine it, as John Lennon would say. Only I’m not forcing you to contemplate a nightmarish Globalist Dystopia like he conjures in that song.
After zero tolerance policies led to a boy getting suspended from elementary school for chewing his Pop Tart into the shape of a gun, a Maryland lawmaker has decided to stand up against blanket policies that undermine the judgement of local school authorities. How’s he doing this, you ask? Well, by coming up with a blanket policy that undermines local school authorities, of course. In a gruesome attempt to suck the publicity from this national story like a leech that is literally starving for attention, he has proposed a law to make it illegal for schools to suspend or punish students for making guns with their breakfast snacks, their fingers, or by drawing one on a sheet of paper. Just what we need! More laws! Thank God, it had been like two seconds since the last one.
Look, obviously students shouldn’t be suspended for bull crap like this. But we end up in this situation because of indiscriminate policies enacted by uninvolved parties. We don’t solve the problem with more of what caused it. Just let the teachers and administrators on the scene make a determination on a case by case basis. Why is this so hard? Make a law abolishing zero tolerance policies, not another law to add on to zero tolerance policies. Why can’t we simply allow adults to exercise a little judgement? If a kid draws a picture of a soldier holding a rifle, he should get an A+ for such a wonderful and patriotic illustration. If he draws a picture of himself holding a gun and pistol whipping the family dog, now we might have a problem. The two cases should CLEARLY be treated differently. Yes, they both involve guns. But that’s not the point. It’s CONTEXT and INTENTION that matter. Neither zero tolerance policies nor this boneheaded law allow for either of those considerations.
It’s not difficult. But we insist on making it so. If I was in charge I’d pass one law to cover all of these scenarios. It would read something like this: “Don’t be stupid. Use your freaking brains. What’s the matter with you?”
You have to read that in Joe Pesci’s voice for it to have the desired impact