Last night I went to a showing of Les Miserables. And when I say “went to” I mean “hogtied and dragged at gun point by my wife, her sister and her mom”. By the looks of many of the other men in that crowded overheated theater, I was not the only hostage victim in attendance. In fact I saw one dude commit Hara-kiri while shouting “death before dishonor” in the parking lot prior to the screening. At first I thought he was slightly overreacting. And then the movie started.
I have to say, after watching the entire film, it was actually a thousand times worse than I could have imagined. Les Miserables will stand forever as the most miserable cinematic experience I’ve ever suffered through. And this is coming from a guy who saw “Christmas with the Kranks” in theaters, so that should tell you something.
Let me run through a few points about this excruciating horror show for anyone, especially any man, who has not yet been forced to endure it.
Les Miserables apparently holds the Guinness world record for longest musical about a minor parole violation. It tells the utterly pointless tale of an ex-con as he tries to elude a bumbling parole officer for 20 years. This is also, it should be mentioned, the first film to show two decades pass by in real time. So if you’re heading to the theater tonight make sure to pack a change of clothes. My wife told me afterward that the movie, despite its torturous running time, actually CUT OUT several scenes from the original play. Too bad they didn’t cut out more scenes. Like every scene. Of course it didn’t have to be that long. Hugh Jackman, the criminal guy, could have just, you know, MOVED OUT OF THE FREAKING CITY IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE CAUGHT. Instead this whole game of cat-and-mouse between Jackman and Russell Crowe takes place in one neighborhood. The dumbest criminal of the millennium vs. a law enforcement officer that makes every Leslie Nielsen character look like Sherlock Holmes in comparison.
Oh. But it gets worse. Much worse. They sing. Dear God do they sing. They sing EVERYTHING. Look, I know it’s a musical. I get it. I’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof and The Sound of Music and West Side Story. They sing in those films/plays also. But then they break up the musical numbers with normal dialogue. But that’s just too simple and not nearly irritating enough, according to the maniac who wrote this tornado of crap. Every single line in the movie is sung. It doesn’t matter how pedestrian the dialogue, they have to put it to music: “Pass the salt”, “Hang on I gotta take a leak”, etc. All put to song. My sister-in-law cried throughout the whole movie. I cried tears of blissful joy when Russell Crowe threw himself off a bridge at the end because it meant he’d finally stop singing. BUT EVEN THAT DIDN’T STOP HIM. All the dead people had to come back before the credits for one last encore. By the way, Crowe, you’re the guy who played the gladiator but now you will live in infamy as the most awkward casting decision in Hollywood history. You reminded me of someone’s dad who was tossed into the school play at the last minute after his son came down with laryngitis on opening night.
But let’s talk about the “big” musical numbers. You don’t need to buy the soundtrack. I’ll sum up every song in the movie. Here you go: “I’m so lonely, I’m so alone, look at me my life is hard, I’m alone, I’m on my own, there’s this empty chair here, it’s empty because I’m alone, I’m lonely, all this bad stuff has happened to me because of my inexcusably stupid life choices, I’m alone, I feel so alone, on my own, on my own, on my own, did I mention I’m on my oooooowwwwwn?”
Not a dry eye in the house after we heard that one. For the 40th time.
Vapid, shallow, predictable, self indulgent and emotionally manipulative. “BUT IT’S A CLASSIC!” No. No it’s not. Who cares if the play has been around for a while? Malaria has been around for a while. Just because something is old doesn’t make it a “classic”.
And I haven’t even mentioned the fact that half the characters in this flick– which is set in France — have an inexplicable limey British chimney sweep accent. That would make sense for Mary Poppins but not this. Incidentally THAT’S a musical I’d sooner watch 5 times in a row before being subjected to another 3 minutes of Les Miserables.
Then, two thirds of the way through the movie, we get the obligatory tragic love story. Here’s how it goes: a young French revolutionary spots a blonde chick across the street. The two lock eyes and literally THAT NIGHT the dumb desperate loser is singing about how he’d “die for her”. Really? And I’m supposed to become psychologically invested in a plot device that has just reduced the beauty, joy, pain and sacrifice of romantic love to something you can catch like a cold or fall into like a puddle? I know Hollywood has been peddling that nonsense for ages but this was simply too much to cope with.
To make matters worse we’re all supposed to be super impressed because the songs (and by “songs” I mean “every single word uttered during the course of the entire picture”) are performed live instead of being recorded in a studio and dubbed into the film. “GEE WOW I’M SO ENAMORED WITH YOUR ARTISTIC INTEGRITY”. Is that the reaction I’m supposed to have? I don’t know because my initial reaction was something like “Man, this sounds awful”. Instead of lip syncing pre-recorded songs, the actors sputtered out of key while choking back tears and gasping for breath. It was like listening to someone sing karaoke while being chased by a swarm of African killer bees. Coincidentally, that is the actual premise of a reality show on TruTV. Except that show likely has more depth and intelligence. I don’t care if the “let’s do it live” move was “revolutionary”. Not all revolutions are good. Just ask France.
I could go on. But I won’t. I hated Les Miserables with a violent passion. Let’s leave it at that.
And at this: my wife now has to watch four mob movies, three war movies and two History Channel documentaries with me.
That’s the exchange rate.
Sorry, honey, I don’t make the rules. But I will enforce them.
What you forgot to say was that not only do the songs all have the same theme but neither does the tune vary. It’s one song in one key with the same lyrics all the way through the 14 hours (or however long it is).
Loved this! My daughter and I bought our tickets early, stood in line in Santa Fe in freezing cold temperatures on Christmas Day, sat waiting for another 30 minutes in an overheated theater and then endured the entire thing. Afterward we looked at each other and just shook our heads and wondered why we didn’t spend the evening down at Del Charro drinking margaritas instead. Your description was spot-on, despite the fact that I love all those performers. In other movies. To the comments that say you must have “no soul” if you didn’t love it, I can only say this: I have stage iv cancer and am in the middle of chemo and would rather have spent those 3 hours at the cancer center. And I’m pretty sure I have a soul. And an education. And an open mind. I just don’t have tolerance for this version of Les Mis. . .
Thanks for making me laugh out loud. Which obviously did not happen once in this movie. . .
So sorry to hear of your illness. It’s nice you can joke about it. If you were a star you couldn’t express your opinion as openly or you’d get crucified (e.g, Lambert). I actually liked the show (I ‘ve seen the stage musical about 10 times), but I was disappointed in yet another Hollywood blunder….putting non-singers in key roles. It was only one or two people, but it ruined it for me. I’m glad I have my DVDs of the 10th and 25th Anniversary shows.
I was happy to see Colm Wilkinson in a small role along with the original woman that played Eponine (even though she was cast as whore #1) and Samantha Barks who played Eponine in the 25th Anniversary concert. Seeing Colm was very nice…I’m glad they brought in a couple people from the stage version.
I’m a bit addicted to the 10th Anniversary dvd I have.
I agree with you Christine…and I can’t believe the crap A. Lambert still gets for voicing his honest opinion. He only said one or two sentences (and I totally agreed with him) and he was chastized. Even the director Mackintosh trashed Adam. What do they care what he thinks? The bottom line is the singing was suspect except for a few (Jackman, Hathaway, Eponine, the two guys were ok) and I agreed with Adam. The harmonies were ok. I still love the 10th anniversary edition. Colm Wilkinson was a breath of fresh air.
This honestly is a musical that I love, though I LOVE your plot summary (the book is a lot easier to swallow in terms of believability). But this movie was a special kind of awful. The one thing you failed to mention was the cinematography, or lack thereof. The whole damn movie was spent looking up people’s nostrils! WTH?
OMG – that was so funny, I laughed out loud in my cube at work. Obviously, the poor man has never read the novel and didn’t get the point of the story, and obviously he wasn’t made aware that it is more a contemporary opera than a musical, but still… he represents a less-educated main-stream contingency that sadly, most of our country is, and therefore is completely relate-able. Too bad, but FUNNY AS HELL!
No, it’s a movie for idiots. Liberal snobs who think they know more than the rest of us like it. But, the movie version has no redeeming social or artistic values.
Wade,
I must begin this by saying that I have not seen the movie. My comment was actually a compliment, based on how this person viewed it without having read the book, and I can actually ‘get’ that the movie looks a certain way if you haven’t. Probably the musical, too. However, the music is wonderful, in my humble opinion!
In high school, I took a college lit. class and this was the book I read and did my thesis on. You have to look beyond the basic plot and understand what life was like just before the French Revolution. The rich were getting richer and the poor were getting poorer, being used, etc. Being on the lam for stealing a loaf of bread is a metaphor for how much power the rich and/or priviledged had over those without a voice. The burgeouis were acting as if they were poor, but really weren’t – hence Marius and his puffed up gang of boys. However, the burgeouis were also able to give voice to the poor ‘scum’ and cause the revolution to take off. Fantine and Cosette represent much of how women were treated, and Eponine represents a deeper feminine/goddess/nurturer soul of the people. I could go on, but you are probably bored and haven’t even read this much.
So, for those who read the novel, the musical was interesting. Musically, the score represents these aspects and characters right down to the math of the rhythms and chord intervals. <- That is all my speculation and opinion, but anyone with a bit of music theory background could probably understand that hypothesis. I was a music theory major, so I am a TOTAL geek about that stuff.
This is not to say Matt's opinion of the movie is not valid – I haven't seen it. He just mentioned the bread stealing and wondered, like I have seen many do in posts about the movie, why it is such a big deal. It isn't. The metaphor is. As for characters, I doubt they could begin to cover the complexities of who-does-what-with/to-whom like the novel. It's intense, so yeah, the movie probably doesn't do that justice at all.
I BEG YOUR PARDON! I’m a liberal (and sometimes, in my tastes, I’m a snob) but I HATED, HATED, HATED this film!!!! I myself wrote a review on this piece of crap (which you can find on Amazon under the 1 Star reviews) and spent most of it detailing the miserable, pedestrian direction by Tom Hooooper (extra ‘o’s’ for OMG) that seemed to keep me trapped in a waring blender with hand puppets shoved in my face. This film is so awful, I found myself wishing I had been getting a root canal instead.
Robert Blenheim
Yes, because all liberals are idiots. Why? Because they look beyond their selfish needs…. That is not justifiable.
Marvelously well-put. I laughed at this article myself, because it expressed the feelings of so many of my friends in such very comic manner. But I agree with your assessment entirely.
I’ve just wasted £12 watching this crud
i love ur review! i had a sag screener i tried to watch it but after 10 mins of russell crowe singing, etc i was like hell no im not wasting the rest of my night on this! i decided to then watch an old sag screener of a much better and watcheable movie which im sure you would agree – the departed! this review is everything i thought of in just 10 mins! thank God i didnt have anyone forcing me to watch the entire thing!
I am so over people who rave about this… I mean, the Herculean effort to bring this together must be commended (because not all of us can do it, or would have some idiot who would fork out money so we could throw it down the drain). Hey listen, I watch plays and musicals, I sat through the horrible singing in Sweeney Todd and Moulin Rouge. I even read “Les Miserables” the novel. The problem with people thinking themselves high brow for liking this is the fact that they can’t get over themselves and actually look at the shortcomings. Bad singing (Crowe, pls shut the f up and die already), off key singing, one-note “singing” dialogue… Why does the director think transposing the musical into a movie is all it takes? I could just watch it on stage and I probably would have been more moved… He wasted the opportunity to make a more compelling version of the story, even if it all started with a minor crime (stealing a fricking loaf of bread) and a minor parole violation that led to a fricking lifetime of misery. Most people just think of the songs when they think of Les Miz, and perhaps a good number of them only love two of those — Fantine’s “woe is me” personal anthem, and Eponine’s “song of the unloved.” I also don’t understand why they had to cast these Hollywood people (I know, Jackman, Hathaway and most of the cast did theater, except Crowe I guess), but having showbiz “unknowns” may not get this an Oscar… or would it? And why they hell can’t they just talk instead of sing? What revolutionary approach is that? I know they did that in theaters in ancient times, but wasn’t it because there were hardly any form of entertainment then and people realized, wow, i can sing and shit? Or whatever. I’m all for stories that champion the human spirit, the good and moral and even love, but please, get real! Thank you for this review, at least I know I’m not the only crazy one for not liking this…
I know where you are coming even though I’m a huge musical theatre fan and do love the play. I would have changed many things. Russell Crowe had no business being in this movie…he is not a trained singer…and it just wasn’t his role. But it drew people to the movie and that’s what matters. Oscar nominations (which I think would still have happened if they got a better Javert). Some of the leads were not so great, some were. I have complained for years about Hollywood bypassing the great stars of musical theatre and putting in “popular” onces like Jackman, Hathaway and Crowe. At least Jackman and Hathaway were good and their acting is great. That’s how hollywood works. And the live singing I could live with except some of these people struggled with the live singing. It was designed to be more real. However, in reality, people don’t sing everything they are thinking. I won’t be buying the soundtrack for this one.
Reblogged this on thatdudebj and commented:
Sad, but I couldn’t agree more.
I think your review is a little over the top, but it was entertaining reading. My friend did lean over during the movie and say, “I went to a musical and an opera broke out.” Left the hubby at home ’cause I’ll be DAMNED if I’m watching another “Paranormal Activity” in trade…..
Now Paranormal Activty. THAT was a shitty excuse for a movie
Ha! I loved your post Mr. Walsh! It was humorous and helped me feel secure in my personal assessment of the film. I went with my fiance to see this film, and generally admire his taste in art, literature, film, and the like. However, I had some vague idea of what this film would be like, but had no idea it would be as you and I both experienced. As a person who is surrounded by close individuals who are enamored with this musical (I was badgered to see it by several people before I relented), I cannot say I share their sympathies. Thank you for being open and honest and for providing us (who are less interested in the absolute misery of this “musical”) a place to laugh and feel accepted for our criticisms of what is deemed a “classic.”
Just read the review and several other subsequent comments and realised that it’s true… anyone really can call themselves a critic nowadays… what a bunch of poorly thought out, ignorant views.
Oh, man. Your review is hilarious. I liked the movie overall, but I can see how others might not. And Russel Crowe? You nailed it! I’m sorry you were forced to endure this, but thanks for the laugh!
Most people I talked to (people that love musicals) said the same thing as you. And Russell Crowe, whom I love as an actor, sucked period! Why does Hollywood have to do this….put in a great movie actor to sing a huge roll when they don’t fit the part. I’m sure he sold tickets for them but I am angry. It was good overall, but I love this musical.
The book is great.
Thanks for the review. I normally don’t find that Hollywood reviewers don’t think like I do or judge movies based on the same criteria. But with your blow by blow account, I can bet with a high degree of confidence that going to this movie, even if it was free, would completely tick me off that I had wasted that much of my life. That said, all you needed to say about the movie was that Russell Crowe sang in it. That would be enough to make me cross my fingers and back up. I now have all the information I need to determine that my wife doesn’t have the trade offerings I need to be forced through this movie.
Thanks. It’s nice to hear others were turned off by the fact that Russell Crowe was in this movie. When he came out on the Oscars to sing with the group I walked out of the room. So many talented people could have that role, but tickets probably wouldn’t have been sold. It makes me sick.
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“And at this: my wife now has to watch four mob movies, three war movies and two History Channel documentaries with me.”
If you make her go to see GANGSTER SQUAD, you’ll be back at square one debt-wise. Just sayin’…;)
I absolutely loved this post! I was trying not to laugh out loud since I am at work reading this. I saw the musical on Broadway and really enjoyed it. So i deided to go see it with some friends. They were all sobbing and all I could think was “Thank god he’s dying because it means this crapfest is ove and I can go home”!!!. It was just painful to sit through!
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Ha! I thought I was the only one that hated this thing! My parents took me and my sister to see this, and at the end when they were crying I was cheering that the convict finally died after his 10 minute song. Felt like FOREVER!
Well I have to admit I was predisposed to love this film,since I have seen the stage versions in Edinburgh and London,I also have owned the 25th Anniversary DVD and have oft played it on nights where the TV progs were not to my liking. You wont be surprised to hear I thought it just wonderful,it is my favourite musical ever.I am a tenor and have sung in many stage productions of musicals such as Fiddler on the Roof,Call Me Madam,West Side Story,Hello Dolly,HMS Pinafore ,Cabaret,42nd Street and many others.I am really surprised at the vitriol posted here by I suppose predominately American readers of this blog,but then you are Americans and I dont suppose your educational system will include much of classical European literature,which is a pity,you learn there is more to life than pursuing the American Dream and to hang with culture.You have heard of Victor Hugo,William Shakespeare,H.G.Wells.Jules Verne etc?before you reply ,yes I have read Mark Twain,Edgar Allan Poe and ????is there any other classical writers of literature in America’s History,could someone remind me, I have plumb forgot.Incidentally I live in Scotland,and I have heard that in cinemas all over Scotland audiences have been giving the film a Standing Ovation,that as far as my 63 years of living has never happened before with any film screening here.
Eric: not ALL Americans are so “ugly” as those in this thread who pan any film that does not have gunfights and car chase scenes. This will be proven come Academy Awards time. I am NOT among those raving about Anne Hathaway’s performance (although she will win) but I think Hugh Jackman would and should win in ANY year but this one (Daniel Day Lewis was a tour de force as Lincoln).
Scots ARE a subdued lot; a standing ovation by the Scots is usually reserved for First Minister Salmond when he speaks of the independence referendum set for next year.
PS: Or Steinbeck? Or Dan Brown! There re many excellent authors from this side of the Pond as well. And your side wasted plenty of paper and ink as well like the bestsellers by that Rowling tart. But bet these same reviewers panning a classic like Les Mis just LOVED the Harry Potter series.
Dan Brown could never come close to being considered in the same realm as Hugo or Shakespeare or Steinbeck. Those books are derivative and they all follow the same basic plot. Are they interesting? Yes. Are they timeless? No. Also, Have you actually read Harry Potter? Those books will be classics. When you witnessed the decade or so timespan over which they were released, you witnessed history. Everything in them, from the names of the characters, to the plots and foreshadowing, to the overarching themes and underlying messages, is masterfully done with a complexity and attention to detail that is unparalleled in modern fiction. Just because something is wildly popular doesn’t mean it is trash. Read them for yourself. All the way through. If you come away with the same opinion, well I will just assume the dementors got to you.
Dan Brown is not in the class with Shakespeare? Really? I mean, honestly? Hey, I’ve read better laundry lists by drunks than Dan Brown’s ‘prose’. As a writer, he is certainly in the class with the worst of all time. For a short time (unfortunately longer than ’15 minutes of fame’) he was popular and poor saps actually paid money for his bilge. Okay, that might be an excuse to check him out , then, when “Da Vinci Code” emerged from the sewer and people were curious; but there’s no excuse to read him now. You couldn’t pay me to read his next book. (Sorry to change the subject but at least llh21 gave me a short vacation from slinging well-deserved mud at “Les Miz”.)
Now, to get back to “Les Miserables”….!
I’m sure I feel like you do Eric. I have the 10th anniversary and 25th anniversary editions and absolutely love the musical. I thought the film was great, but admittedly I am angry that a few what I consider “non-trained singers” like Russell Crowe were selected to sing such major roles. Javert’s baritone is one of my favorites and, while I realize they want to sell tickets with the big names, couldn’t they have chosen someone else? It distracted me too much. I didn’t even mind the live singing, but Crowe had no quality to his voice, no change in dynamics, no range or great phrasing, no soft or loud dynamic end to his phrases. One of two other singers I struggled with, but I enjoyed Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman. I’m a big fan of musical theatre and I don’t get why we have to infest great operas or musicals with big name actors who can’t sing. Otherwise I loved it. But I won’t buy the soundtrack since I have two others.
Just on the point of US vs UK reactions, I’m British, very well read, an opera lover and lover of all kinds of other music, but I’m totally with Matt. I know that a majority of people love ‘Les Mis’ and are moved by it. But for a large minority of us it simply lives up to its title with an overlong depressing plot and endless dreary music.
Dear Eric,
You mention that “…Scotland audiences have been giving the film a Standing Ovation….:”
Now, just hypothetically …
Could it be that, at the end of the movie, you saw a group of viewers jump up, all at the same instant, to get the heck out of the theater? After a couple of hours, deep claustrophobia sets in, and the powerful urge to leave the theater is barely restrained in these poor people. When the movie is over, all that anxiety hits. They scream, bite, claw, they run each other over, they jump down rows of seats, they head for “Emergency Exits” that haven’t been used since World War II. Anything, anything, to get out of there!
You may have noticed a few people not jumping out of their chairs. These are the people who took a massive dose of tranquilizers about 10 minutes into the movie. Theaters have been good about calling ambulances for these unfortunate people. You can see a jump in Emergency Room visits at hospitals near theaters; the doctors call it “Les Miserables Overdoses.”
With time, and help from a mental help professional, these people may actually recover, and lead useful, happy lives. Generally they have to go through a similar multiple-staged process; for example, Step I is Denial, Step 2 is Anger, and Step 3 is Deep Hatred For Russell Crowe Singing.
I’d also like to theorize that at the exact moment the screen showed “The End”, of course people jumped up and started applauding!
You know, It’s difficult to think of many movies that are like this one. The mind blocks them out; the mind tries to forget. There are movies that are total dogs.
Just as a start, generally, any movie with Steven Seagal in it is guilty until proven innocent.. The horror of “Waterworld” is another example. The Six Hour Director’s Cut of “Das Boot” is in the running. The Abyss was pretty abyssal. And the endless, endless, endless scenes of the Starship Enterprise moving oh-so-slowly out of drydock, in the first Star Trek movie, nearly convinced Paramount to never make another Trek movie.
Actually Dave,
I personally was not present at a cinema where the audience gave the film a standing ovation,it was something that was printed in our national newspapers,I have experienced a rush of exiting audiences though in Scottish cinemas in my younger days when it was the custom for the National Anthem to be played at the end of each performance,not something we like to indulge listening to when the verses are distinctly Anti-Scottish, “Then like a torrent rush ,Rebellious Scots to Crush,Oh do they think so?,obviously they have’nt seen Braveheart.
Eric. Who are you speaking to exactly? This one person is not all of America, and do you mean to say that all from Scotland enjoyed the film You sound as if you are speaking from a position of assumed supremacy. I could say that the majority of drunks on the street at World Cup 98 Paris were Scottish and embarrassing but that is not useful either. I hope you learn to open your heart to the world. And yes, we are matriculated in world literature, and not all things American. Please take some time now and see the rest of the world from somewhere else than the safety of your keyboard and monitor before making sweeping generalizations.
Hi John T,
Sorry if you found my comments a bit offensive,I had posted those in some weeks ago and I have little memory with regard to what I actually wrote.I thought I had replied in context,style and similar derrogatory manner our good friend and blogger, the one and only Matt Walsh.I really cannot be bothered to back track through all the replies to refresh my memory.I do rest my case by saying I enjoyed the Les Mis Film though I wont be buying the Soundtrack.I fail to see the link to drunken Scottish Football fans and Les Mis,were they taken on as extras?.If you think Scottish drunken fans are bad,wait until you meet some English ones LOL.
John T:
In all fairness, you overreacted and make a common mistake in logic.
What Eric actually said was: “…in cinemas all over Scotland audiences have been giving the film a Standing Ovation…”. That does NOT say ALL audiences, or EVERYONE in Scotland. For example, if I said “in bars all across America, applause was heard at the end of the President’s speech,” it would NOT mean everyone applauded, or even people applauded in ALL bars. It could mean some bars, and some people in some of those bars.
Then, respectfully, you start going on the ad hominem attack against Eric, which he did NOT do to the ones who disagree with his opinion.
Hey, don’t get me wrong: I DESPISED this film and consider it a badly directed bunch of badly-sung silliness, but Eric does not deserve your vituperation.
Bob Blenheim
My apologies I should have given recognition to Hemmingway and Fitzgerald.Senile dymensia can be a bit inconvenient at times.
Hey, Eric, stop apologizing. I am sick of those who start chastising people who state a different opinion, even if strongly worded, almost as much as I am sick of those who start off an attack by saying, “Don’t get me wrong, I welcome different opinions BUT…”. (That great qualifier, ‘BUT’!!!) These people virtually always prove that, in fact, they DON’T welcome different opinions.
Hey, don’t get me wrong: I think this film stinks. If you think it’s good, maybe I think your opinion is insane but we can vehemently argue about it. We don’t have to be polite about the film we defend or attack, but vituperative personal attacks is something else and should be verboten.
Don’t apologize.
Bob Blenheim
Hi Robert,Thank you for your reply ,loved your line “Vituperative personal attack is something else and should be verboten”,I recently from my College Senior Lecturer post after nearly 40 years,unfortunately it was’nt,in English language,thats my daughters domain ,she graduated from Glasgow Uni,with a MA in English and Drama .So I am not sure if I was guilty in my previous post ,of your remark above,it was so long ago I cannot remember what I wrote.I did repond to our friend Matt Walsh’s blog in the spirit of his blunt manner,it was not my usual way of expessing myself,I just thought his remarks were so over the top I really did’nt think he had even gone to see the film.His remarks were deliberately provocative,to solicit the reponses as demonstrated by readers such as you and I,how he must be enjoying the fruits of his blog.Anyway,as you say we all have the right to express an opinion,its just annoying when people disagree with mine when its so obvious mines were always the correct ones?
One truly excellent review. It’s so good to know there are those who are not only like-minded out there, but so who are so literate along with it.
My experience of Les Miserables was just last night; I managed a whole hour.
The only thing that gave me enjoyment that night was the ice cream at the interval
I’d love ice cream during this film (or anytime). My only reservvation would be: does ice cream really go with baloney?
what a load of moaners
You are soooo right! I love musicals and musical films like Chicago, Nine or Sweeney Todd. But this was just way too much for me. No dialogues at all, how the hell do people endure that? The story is great btw, it’s much more complex and exciting but it’s just not the right plot to turn into a musical. Jeeez all this suffering was driving me crazy! Almost everyone overacting like they were on stage while having close-ups. And Eddie Redmayne is the worst choice to play Marius, I mean all the girls are supposed to fall in love with him! But helloooo??? Eddie Redmayne a hot guy? And helloooo? He’s supposed to be French? (preferably dark hair and dark eyes) and he’s soooo British and sooo NOT sexy!
I’ve never really taken the Academy Awards seriously but if Les Miserables gets more than one Oscar I’ll laugh out loud.
Send this to Cameron Mackintosh and you’ll be on his bad list forever. I totally agree with you, but mostly because I was livid at the selection of Russell Crowe. One of my favorite singers Adam Lambert complained about some non-singers (just like I did), not all of them, just a couple and he was chastized all over the media. I love Les Mis on stage, and I like the film because I’m a die hard musical fan. But putting in a few bad singers upset me. I won’t buy the soundtrack. Hathaway was great and should get an Oscar.
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i saw Les Miserables today … with 5 friends, in the Oscar Showcase in NYC. I knew early on that it was going to be a let down. A ridiculous amount of singing … and we were on row 4 of a very crowded theatre so it was way to loud for our ears. Sweet relief came in the form of sleep – I was already sleepy anyhow – and I managed to knock out 20 minutes of the movie by zonking out.
Anyone can see it was a grand and expensive gesture, a Herculean task of high art. BUT … oh, God, the incessant bad singing. Singing every line. EVERY LINE? WTF??? Who signed off on THAT and does that person still, um, have a job. Sersiously, this was a Tree Of Life moment last year in the Oscar Showcase theatre when there was a audible sigh of relief when Malick’s film went to black. You just wanted to go home and take a show and ask your psychiatrist if time travel hypnosis is possible in order to go back to the time before you saw either of these films … everybody needs a second chance to do the right (least painful) thing.
It sounds like it wasn’t the “movie” that you didn’t like. You didn’t like the musical. The film is based on the Broadway musical, tells the exact same story as the Broadway musical and stays true to the music (ie. there is no dialogue in the Broadway musical either – and this is not uncommon. There’s no dialogue in the Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon, Evita, etc. A lot of musicals are without dialogue). So, this isn’t really a critique of the film, it’s a critique of the musical which you clearly didn’t like (and that’s fine; to each his own). Whether the story and music is your cup of tea or not, as far as the quality of the acting and the technical elements of the film, such as art direction, cinematography, editing, etc. the film is a masterpiece, which is why it is so critically acclaimed and receiving numerous nods during this awards season.
OMG! “…as far as the quality of the acting and the technical elements of the film… the film is a masterpiece.” OH REALLY???? (See my own reply below for details.) The editing and directing were howlingly awful. I felt as if I were stuck in a waring blender for the entire film.
Bob, you’re a hater. But an articulate one and prolly accurate, I concede.
Dealing with Les Miz is like dealing with the fact of Obama. As President. Of the free world. Don’t make no sense honey, but it sure feeeeeeeels good to lots of folks.
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I too was forced through this painful experience, the only thing you missed was the appalling glossy ‘Hollywood’ sets representing some ‘imagined’ Paris, and the fact that in that era ‘large’ women were considered beautiful. But hey that’s only history let’s forget all that stuff and just sing, grrrrrrrr
To hate this movie is to prove you have no heart or soul.
To LOVE this movie is to prove one merely has an ersatz heart and shallow soul. This incompetently directed mess is prepackaged slop aiming to produce tears in anxious viewers who don’t really know what deep, profoundly moving art is all about. And I wasn’t dragged to this pretentious bilge; I willingly led myself to the slaughter. What I got for it: The most ‘miserable’ film experience in many a year.
Tom Hooper’s movie of “Les Miserables” is by far the biggest disappointment of the year and, in fact, one of the year’s worst films. It wouldn’t have been this way if the worthy project had been given to a different director.
The original stage musical has been justifiably loved by many and won many awards in its various languages. Though flawed by its paucity of melodic creativity (there seems to be one song that keeps reappearing throughout with small variations) and a tendency toward over-bloating the material (Javert dies not from an ignominious death in a canal but a leap from a height that rivals the top of Mount Everest), the original musical was a masterpiece of adaptation from the Victor Hugo novel.
The movie captures that accurately and perhaps beautifully but the beloved property has been undermined and eventually destroyed by the most incoherent and pedestrian film direction I’ve witnessed in at least a decade. In short, the film is a mess due to Tom Hooper’s insistence of dizzying, relentless close-ups of grotesque singing faces spasmodically darting about, and his total inability to place two or three people into an organized and meaningful composed shot. Establishing shots are completely absent, and no attention seems paid to any visual relationships between characters, the organizing of which is a prerequisite for any director.
One searches in vain for any intelligent use of space here, as Hooper haphazardly frames faces off-center, too high or too low, as if a child or a disabled grandparent inadvertently picked up the camera and aimed it without being able to see its image through the viewfinder.
In the hands of a competent director a simple conversation (or a duet) between two lovers can be a thing of significance and beauty in which we experience one lover declaring love at the same time we experience the reactions of the other lover simply listening, but here all we get is one face at a time repeatedly shoved into our mugs in an assault as if an out-of-control jack-in-the-box puppet is out to get us. This is no way to convey the subtlety or sensitivity of a marvelous property like this epic musical. It only remains to see if the aficionados of the original have the good sense (and the imagination) to realize what this film could have been — and how much they’ve been short-changed as well as dishonored.
Sorry this functions as a mere footnote, but a word needs to be said about the singing. In essence, some are inadequate for the task (Crowe’s weakness bothers me less than Jackman’s irritatingly uncontrollable vibrato) but a few are marvelous (like Samantha Barks and David Heddlestone). However, it is truly Anne Hathaway’s earnestness and heart-felt singing that towers over the rest of the movie and will surely garner her an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.
And in the future I can only hope that any project I value doesn’t fall into the bungling hands of Mr. Hooper!
Bobby Bobby Bobby. Too many syllables, not enough scotch. You need a good cry!
I’ve had a few profoundly moving cries lately. Ang Lee’s film of “Life of Pi” did it. So did Michael Haneke’s “Amour”. “Les Miz” gave me heartburn and a desire to give up film. Thankfully, I didn’t, and proceeded to see competent films, for the most part, thereafter.
(And what the heck did you bring in Obama above? If I read you right, you need to cry at some of the realistic things in the world, not ersatz crap like “Les Miz”. Like what the right wing miscreants are doing to the middle class. That deserves tears, not the self-indulgent waterworks by Hathaway & Company!)
Thank you most for the massive list! are you able to offer additional lists
I loved the movie. I blubbered through the whole thing. Hugh Jackman is not gay and I adore him.
I loved the Matt Walsh review, except that Matt forgot to apply his scalpel to Sascha Baron Cohen. Next time nail him Matt. To a cross!
Anne Hathaway wears vegan shoes but I loved her in this movie. Mercifully, her role was brief. But sooooooo dramatic. And life changing. And Oscar inducing.
I can laugh at myself and cry at Les Miz. It’s my right as an American citizen!
Also Matt, I keep this video on my iPhone for whenever I’m feeling fat, middle aged, and useless. It’s Susan Boyle performing Les Miz on Britain’s Got Talent.
Yes I kid you not, this is my favorite thing in the last decade:
Well you people should just think about this, at least these actors/actresses have gone out and done something with their lives. They’re getting rich and famous while you losers are sitting home writing bad reviews about them, if anyone wants to comment about how I’m sitting home doing nothing too, I know I have no life so I don’t really care… But these people are brave enough to try and I’m sure all of you would be soo fantastic singing in this movie..
If you’re not being sarcastic (and, if you are, LOFL!!!!), this is the lamest, most desperate, and unbelievable (if admittedly original) example of ad hominem fallacious arguing I’ve come across in my entire life. We’re not only wrong, we’re losers!!!!! And then (even more ‘cleverly’) you try to innoculate yourself from our defense by saying you have ‘no life’ also!!!!
I won’t buy it. Again, if you’re not being sarcastic (reprise of LOFL!) some of us can actually walk and chew gum, at the same time or, at least, sequentially. Some of these denigrations might very well be written by professional singers, bank presidents, successful politicians or even Donald Trump. Who knows? Maybe I’m Mahatma Gandhi.
Hey, who cares? Even a poor meathead can be right on this. As Matt Walsh certainly is in his absolutely accurate review.
This is a horrible review! I am sorry, but you are either to dense, or insensitive to comprehend this movie. One example of this would be your line “WHY DIDN’T HE LEAVE THE FREAKING CITY!?” He did. That clearly exemplifies ONE of your misconceptions. I do not judge you for your opinion… Some of us are closer to our homohabilous cousins than others….
‘Homohabilous’? Not in any dictionary I can find, and I’m a writer — not even in the complete Oxford English Dictionary. ‘Homo’ might mean ‘one’, but habilous? HUH?
Hey, maybe this is why you don’t comprehend Mr. Walsh’s review! Too many freakin’ homohabilouses!
He obviously means homo habilis. Maybe if you stop being a smart-ass you might be able to figure it out….
Travis’s definition of ‘nonsense’ and ‘abuse’ = he disagrees with what one says.
His definition of ‘smart-ass’ = One who articulates one’s opinion intelligently.
Notice who falls back on calling one names like ‘smart-ass’. That seems to me a rather abusive personality.
Next case…
Oh, my holy f*ck. I am currently watching this on cable’s On Demand. Why can’t I just turn it off? I don’t know. I guess I’m one of those thinking it’s got to get better or since I paid for it I should watch it. I’m obviously a gluten for punishment.
The singing….it’s terrible. And like others have said, they sing EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING and it all sounds the same – TERRIBLE.
OMG, this is such a bad movie. Why did this win awards?
It IS terrible. It won a few Oscars because they were technical awards (with the exception of Anne Hathaway’s). For example, its award for Set Design was because of the money spent in building the sets and they were fantastic. I guess it doesn’t matter that the director destroyed our viewing these sets from his godawful direction.
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I really did love this movie, but I can totally see where you’re coming from. I didn’t see the musical before seeing the movie and was pleasantly surprised with it. Although, it was a bit long I have to be honest, but regardless I loved every minute. The acting was in my opinion top-notch and even though the singing wasn’t ‘amazing’ by any standards it was indeed emotional and every note that was sung actually pulled on my heart strings. From the boys at the barricade to the urchins in street and everywhere in between. Though there was one part I couldn’t stand and that was the underdeveloped relationship between Cosette and Marius. It was shallow, dull and made me cringe every time they were on screen together, but besides that I give this movie a 5/5. A definite ‘must see’ if you’re a musical fan (Which I am so my opinion is obviously biased Haha.)
I laughed so hard at this review, I had to stop reading several times to wipe tears from my eyes! I didn’t see the movie because I thought the trailers looked awful. I have seen the play on stage and didn’t care for it much, so I had no interest. It seems you either love this movie or really hate it. The only part I may have liked is seeing Russell Crowe jump off a bridge and presumably die, because I think he’s a terrible actor who has gotten more attention than he is worth. You made me glad I didn’t waste the time or money to see it. Again, Thanks for the belly laugh!
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lets get this short, this review is 1000 times better than the actual movie
)))
Ok, i understand that these types of movie/musicals aren’t everyones cup of tea, but there is no need to write nonsense and abuse everyone that was involved in the making of this moving. I would like to see all the people with abusive and negative comments(that includes the original blog) do a better job on making a film, or, writing a story, or singing like the performers did, and then you see how easy it is.
Of course, Travis, you understand these things because you, yourself, actually made many films and have lots of experience in filmmaking. You are clearly superior and have all the rights afforded the aristocrat to call lowly us giving sincere opinions as ‘nonsense’ and ‘abuse’.
Hey, I spent my life studying film, teaching it, even six years of filmmaking (on an amateur level, okay) and working for a short time in a film studio. Truly amateurville, okay, even if I did get paid.
But, hey, why am I responding thusly? Even THAT doesn’t make one more ‘correct’! I don’t care if you’re a reincarnated Stanley Kubrick or a grandson of Carl Dreyer, that’s no way to condemn our opinions as ‘nonsense’!
God, so much ad hominem at work here!
Listen, as far as myself, if you look above you’ll see that I articulate clearly what’s deficient in the direction of the film. I explained in detail my reasons. Okay, maybe you love the film anyway. Fine. But this should be about explaining the rationale for our personal opinions or our honest responses, NOT saying “Hey, you who disagree with me, you spout nonsense and haven’t made movies yourself!”
Let’s get down to earth. Again, like so many times I say to your ilk: Mr. Travis, Why do you think this is a good film? Let us in on all your film experience which should enlighten us considerably!!!!
Hollywood seems to have turned into a casting soap opera, they just keep using the same faces over and over again in different films. I thought Les Miz would be a career breaker for most of these people, but no! they’re casting them again!
I actually enjoyed Russell Crowe’s sort of Rockish singing style, but
ten minutes of this film sent me running to call my psychiatrist, “Ptlmsd!”, he cried.
The close up of Anne Hathaways teeth had me traumatized!
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I leave a leave a response when I appreciate a post on a site or if I have something to valuable to contribute to
I actually do have some questions for you if you tend not to mind. Could it be just me or does it appear like a few of these remarks look like written by brain dead visitors? 
And, if you are posting on other sites, I’d like to follow
the conversation. It’s a result of the sincerness communicated in the article I looked at. And on this post Les Miserables Taught Me How to Hate Again | TheMattWalshBlog. I was excited enough to drop a thought
you. Could you list every one of your social pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?
Untrue. All of it. It’s a perfect in every way musical. The singing through tears only helps the show as it makes it more real. While SOME songs yes are about loneliness, the overall idea and theme of the musical is grace, hope, and forgiveness. And by the way, dream killer, there is such a thing as love at first sight..
Untrue? UNTRUE???? IT’S AN OPINION, YOU #%%$%#!
Perfect? PERFECT??? If it were perfect there wouldn’t be so many intelligent film fans pointing out the cornucopia of incompetences and stupidities in this dreadful film!!!!
What you call the ‘overall idea’ is destroyed by TERRIBLE DIRECTION — Something that, if everything else were ‘perfect’, would be enough to show IT AIN’T!
Hey, my mom liked musicals. She would’ve HATED this one.
You’re definitely NOT my mother!
Thank you, Thank you, thank you for speaking your own opinion of that horrendous travesty
of a play. ITH as the appropriate name, as well. Years ago my mother and I saw it on Broadway.
At the end, which was a relief we just looked at one another. A theater goer sitting next to me
asked in an astounded tone of voice-”Did you see anything in this”? (a rhetorical question).
It was worse than “The English patient”! I’m ashamed to admit that it was too looooooooooooooog
a death.
Nancy, thank YOU for your response to Matt’s courageous article because, not only do I hate this film, but I hated “The English Patient” as well — an interminable and boring soap opera that became overrated to the insane level from what must have been mass hysteria when it won all the Oscars it won that year.
However, I feel hesitant to mention this because already I’m in ‘hot water’ to the misguided souls who think “Les Miz” is a work of brilliance. Both films deserve ignominy and complete obscurity which, unfortunately, will not happen for a few years anyway.
Okay, to some this is more evidence I’m a ‘hater’ but, truth is, we who react so strongly against ersatz art like this garbage do so out of great love for the authentic works that actually do attain a level of true art.
So many works deserving of love — so little time to waste on posturing trash.
I made it to the “I’m crying because I’m alone and I’m a bald prostitute in a broken boat” song. I’ve never felt such rage build up inside me. If that wasn’t enough why do they film it so you feel like they’re sing/saying with their face bleeding 2 inches from your face at all times?
I started watching with my wife as well. Our night went like this:
Movie starts in utter silence. We check to see if audio is broken. Nope Just starts weird.
They sing “I’m a slave! Always a slave! Now I’m not a slave!”, I think it’s strange.
Sad people sing about being poor or something. I begin to realize these people are really hard to understand.
Some women sing in a shop and throw someone out in the street. Have no Idea what they’re saying but begin to get irritated.
There’s pretty much constant crying from here on. People sing incoherently at anusually close proximity to the screen. I became uncomfortable.
A man gets scraped. Someone gets raped. I get fed up and go get something to eat.
I come back. A lady is beaten up, bald, and howling in my face in some kind of pirate ship FOREVER. My wife and I rage quit.
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